by Charles Therrell (DISK DOKTOR), Oakland, CA

Greetings to my brothers and sisters in Green. The last trip to Harrison was an unmitigated disaster. Having said that, We, the supporters of Seattle Sounders Football Club, must try to will the side to victory. There is a difference between pessimism and stating the facts. I see no reason to believe that Sounders FC will be anything less than competitive in Sunday afternoon’s match. I think there are significant obstacles to victory, however I see no reason why our lads can’t win the day if they play as a team and follow the gaffer’s tactics. I expect for us to hold and counter-attack. Hopefully we will do so with pace and efficiency. They’re like a piñata you know, if you beat them hard enough, Dietrich Mateschitz’ millions begin to pop out. UP THE SOUNDERS!!! BEAT THE RED DONKEYS!!!

The Good News
Sounders coming off a solid US Open Cup win. Sounders are 3-0-3 in their past six matches. Overall we lead the series between the sides with a 4-3-3 record having scored 15 goals and conceded 13. With so many young players in the first team against Kitsap Pumas midweek, we can hope they are in the process of becoming confident enough to face seasoned professionals, such as the players that round out the Red Donkeys’ squad. With Sean Wright-Phillips injured, at least we won’t have to face him.

The Bad News
Sounders are 3-0-3 in their past six matches. No Dempsey as he is still with the United States for Copa America Centenario. Marshall has been out for some time, so even though he is listed as questionable, it’s more likely that he will miss another match. Torres is still rehabbing his ACL injury. Thus we are again without the services of the club’s two best centre-halves. Get well soon lads. We need you. The Red Donkeys are loaded with players who have experience, talent, and have won a ton of trophies. With a fair amount of the experience and trophy winning done in Europe. The last match we played in Harrison we dropped 4:1 courtesy of a Bradley Wright-Phillips hat trick. Bradley Wright-Phillips began his scoring frenzy with a goal in the 1st minute of the match. In five trips to Harrison, the Sounders are 1-2-2 scoring five goals, and conceding eight. The Red Donkeys won the league last year, they’re irritating like that. With no one selected from their squad, Red Donkeys have all players available for selection. Red Donkeys have only dropped one result out of their last six matches (4-1-1).

The Rest
Once there was a football team called MetroStars. They were meant to bring back the glory days of the New York Cosmos and their dominance of the NASL. It never happened. MetroStars never won a domestic tournament. Management sold the club to Deitrich Mateschitz, the co-founder (and 49% shareholder) of the energy drink giant, Red Bull. MetroStars were re-named after a product and were thus stripped of all dignity and respect. Austrian club SV Austria Salzburg suffered a similar fate, as did a number of other sporting concerns in a series of vulgar demonstrations of the corporate wealth and power of the Red Bull empire. Imagine if the MLS iteration of the Sounders had been named Burger King Seattle. You get the idea of how much that would hurt. Therefore, I will always refer to this team as the New York Red Donkeys. In case you were wondering.

Familiar Faces
Not a one.

Selections for Last Match
Red Donkeys: Robles, Zizzo, Collin, Baah, Bilyeu, McCarty, Davis, Shaun Wright-Phillips, Kljestan, Veron, Bradley Wright-Phillips.

Subs Used: Zubar, Muyl, Grella.

Sounders FC: Miller, Fisher, Scott, Alfaro, Remick, Sturgis, Mathers, Roldan, Darwin Jones, Gomez, Kovar.

Subs Used: Friberg, Joevin Jones, Craven.

Injury List
Red Donkeys –
OUT: Perrinelle (knee), Lawrence (knee), Shaun Wright-Phillips (hamstring), Adams (concussion).

Sounders FC –
OUT: Torres (ACL), Anderson (hamstring).
MATCHDAY DECISION: Marshall (hamstring).

Red Donkeys: Veron (Sent-Off)

Seattle: none suspended.

Fun Fact
“In 2010, the Red Bulls refused to pay a $1.4 million property tax levy to the city of Harrison, claiming that the stadium was exempt from paying taxes.[32] The team also refused to pay a $1.3 million for 2011. While the team did eventually pay the back taxes, it subsequently filed a lawsuit to have the payments reimbursed by the city, claiming the stadium was exempt from local taxes.” – USA Today / Associated Press. What a swell bunch of guys.